I miss my friend.

This blog is not going to be as enjoyable as my others... I apologize in advance.

Today my sister mentioned that she had seen Yo at her work today and "almost called me so I could come in and confront her in person." I instantly got teary eyed, because if and when I do run into her the first thing I'm going to want to do is HUG her. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her. And as much as I was hurt by the ending of our friendship I have no desire to "confront" her...

We met about 3 years ago, while working at the daycare, and became instant friends. We were exactly the same person. We just clicked and within a month she was truly, honestly one of my closest friends. We shared the same taste in music and movies and spent hours cuddled up in our sweats watching movies that only we could love. (You Me and Everyone we Know being one of our favorites) We had the same morbid/sarcastic sense of humor and loved to sit and talk about the daycare kids who drove us crazy and the dads we wanted to sleep with. We had even planned to start a brothel at the daycare at night... we thought the nap mats would work just fine!! =) We spent hours sitting at the water front in Vancouver talking and watching the "bobbing boulder." We visited our first sex shop together, wearing our daycare shirts of course, and asked if they were hiring. (we totally thought that would be the perfect night job... but after we learned they had "jack-off" rooms we quickly changed our minds!) I could go on and on about the amazing memories I have with her... we were pretty much amazing together. Sadly now they are only memories.

I guess the beginning of the end was when I moved to California. She was an amazing friend while I was there, writing letters and always there for me when I needed someone to cry to. When I decided I was moving home we were both excited and had plans to pick up our friendship right where we left off, but not long after I moved home she packed up to move north. I was sad, but didn't think much would change and knew that this was a good opportunity for her.

It started slowly. We started talking once a week instead of everyday, then it led to once every 2 weeks... and so on. Months and months went by like this. I would try and call ALL the time even though I knew she wouldn't answer, and every time I would let myself get disappointed. Thinking I was doing something wrong. I mean why wouldn't she want to talk to me? What had I done wrong? Every couple of weeks she would grace me with a call and I was like a beaten little dog excited for that little pat on the head every once in a while. Then it would start all over again. I would tell myself that it was over and I needed to let it go, but then after a couple of weeks would break down and call, or text. When she did answer, she would say something like "I thought you had given up" I wanted to scream "WHY wouldn't you try to STOP me from giving up??" It was as if she shrugged her shoulders and said "oh well" about our friendship. I wanted SO desperately to keep her in my life, and it hurt SO bad that she didn't want the same thing. I know that growing up people had gone in and out of her life- she was used to it, but I wasn't. I didn't want to give up... I tried SO SO hard not to let her push me away. The last straw came a couple of months ago when we met up for a couple hours and had a good talk and made plans to spend the following Saturday together. I was already headed north to stay with Breanne and Matt, but was going to leave early Sat morn and spend that day with Yo. Well I called, and called, and called that weekend and she didn't answer ONCE.

I decided that Sunday after driving home from Seattle crying for 2 hours straight, that I had to be done. I couldn't let myself keep being hurt and let down by her. I knew I needed to surround myself with people who loved me and were there for me. So a goodbye letter was sent and I haven't talked to her since. But even now I have hopes that it isn't a goodbye forever...

Even though I have never been in "love", I KNOW that how I feel from losing Yo is heartbreak. She was a part of me and I love her. Even though our friendship was fast and furious, it was amazing. She knows things about me that NOBODY else does. She was meant to be in my life, even if it was only supposed to be for a couple of short years. When I think about her and our times spent together, I ache. I still cant imagine the rest of my life without her. I cant imagine not being in each others weddings and being aunties to each others babies. I cant imagine not getting to be old ladies together still bullshitting over our martinis. I watch our favorite shows and want to call her so bad and laugh at Charlie or Michael Scott together. I feel like a huge part of me is missing without her.

Right now I'm taking it day by day. I think about her every single day and let myself get sad about her every once and awhile. Ive been having dreams about her and have been seeing a lot of her family members lately... so I know its only a matter of time until we do run into each other and I hope when that happens we can HUG and maybe, just maybe be in each others life again...

"Back and Forth FOREVER"

The good times.

funny hook up's, breakup's and disapointments...

Lets start with my favorite hookup story... (names have been changed for safety reasons. lol)

So about a year ago I was "hanging out" with Joel. I know its unusual to have a hook up relationship without one person getting attached or feelings getting hurt, but this truly was just that. I didn't really even like the guy as a person, but we had some amazing sex! Anyways we hung out for a couple months... and then it just died off. No hurt feelings, no fight, no nothing- that's how I roll! =)

Anyways one night I was hanging out at his house and there were lots of people over. I was being anti-social and was hanging out in his room watching a movie. (I was only there for ONE reason what do you expect?) So I had a piece of gum in my mouth and it was to the point where I needed to spit it out pronto. I didn't feel like walking out and throwing it away and so I neatly rolled it up and set it on a DVD case about 2 feet away from the bed, making a mental note to throw it away when I got up. A couple hours later Joel came into bed and the fun began. It was always the kind of sex that lasted all night and was a little on the crazy side... so I didn't think anything of it when we went off the bed, onto the floor, and back onto the bed again. UNTIL felt the gum in the back of his hair! (I wish I could have seen my own face at that moment- it was a HOLY FUCK face!) Anyways since it was dark I did what I thought best and pretended I hadn't just felt my ABC gum in his hair! Well it only took about 15 minutes until he figured it out himself... and what did I do? DENY DENY DENY! "How the hell did that get there?" "I didn't have any gum!" "weird!" were all my remarks. He had been drinking and decided that it was his gum and his fault. He ran downstairs to try and get it out... I buried my head in the pillow and laughed and laughed and laughed. When he came back into the room he had CUT it out and had a huge hole in the back of his head! I couldn't hide my laughter anymore and let it all out for the next 30 minutes... Lesson Learned- THROW YOUR GUM AWAY BEFORE SEX!

*side-note- I named him Joel... because ever since I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I've wanted to date someone named Joel so I could call him Joely!! lol I love that movie. Anyone know any cute Joels?? =)


My first breakup... and no this is not a boo hoo hoo story.

His name is going to be JJ (for Jean Jacket... cause that's what my sister likes to make fun of him for!) Anyways I was a "virgin" until I was 20... I wasn't a inexperienced virgin though and was very very ready when I started dating JJ. I was ready for lots and lots and LOTS of sex. What I got was horrible, boring sex and a guy that was never ever wanting it!!! Needless to say we didn't date very long...

So after about 3 months of horrible sex once a week, I snapped. We were sitting at his house, watching TV when a commercial came on. It was one of those info-mercials for abstinence. One by one a teen came onto the screen and said their reason for not having sex. Right after it ended I turned to JJ and said "SOOOO whats your reason??" "reason for what?" he replied. "For not wanting to have sex?"... silence.

"fuck you" he said

"HA I wish!" I snipped back as I gathered my purse to left.


And that was the end. We official broke up the next day... and I went and bought myself a vibrator. =)




And for the disappointment...

My first year and a half at Clark I had a HUGE HUGE crush on Milton. (I will call him Milton because his name was just as old manish... but WORSE!) He was on the Clark basketball team and was the most gorgeous man I have ever met. It was during my black stage, but even if it hadn't have been I would have still wanted him BAD. He was THAT attractive. So we were acquaintances but never had really hung out. After about a year of crushing we ran into each other in the library and started talking. We exchanged numbers and started texting and talking. We started hanging out and I quickly figured out that he was pretty DUMB, but since I was super super attracted to him I figured I would just hangout with him for the physical part (I swear I'm not a whore!! lol) Anyways when we finally get the chance to get our physical on, it was going amazing... just his body (super built, lotsa tattoos, gorgeous smile...) got my all hot and bothered. So it gets to the point where pants come off and I almost cried... it. was. tiny. AND. crooked!!! I'd never been so disappointed in anything my whole life as I was in Milton's tiny crooked member. =( boo hoo hoo.


Lesson Learned- Black men do NOT always have big nobs.


2nd Lesson Learned- Once you go black, you CAN go back.

Lost Clothes...

I'm just getting ready to blog about some new juicy/funny stories... but before I do I'm gonna whine a little bit. I am always losing my most favorite awesome clothes! Like where the hell is my Jack Black- Nacho Libre shirt, my "Yes they're real" shirt, my green tights and totally rad green headband go?? I guess its time to go shopping for some new amazing pieces to add to my wardrobe!

PS- Alyssa, if you stole them... I forgive you. Now give them back you YEASTY BENCH.

PPS- Above are a couple pictures... one of me in my amazing green tights and the other is how I felt when I wore my amazing green tights!! So now you must understand why I need them back PRONTO!

I USED to be a nanny in Southern California...

So I think I'll mix it up a bit and tell you guys about my short stay as a live-in nanny in Southern California. This whole saga started about 2 years ago. I had moved home (Longview) right before Micah was born to help out and after about 6 months, I got super antsy and decided I was ready for a change/adventure. So online I went to sign up for a few nanny websites and see where that would take me. If only I knew it would take me to the worst 3 months of my life...

I was contacted by J after a couple of weeks, she had 2 sons B (3) and P (2), lived in Pacific Palisades (L.A, Malibu, Santa Monica area) and was looking for a live-in nanny to move in 2 months. That sounded perfect to me. It was everything I was looking for! I didn't say yes right away though, we exchanged numerous e-mails and phone calls and I even talked to their current nanny (who had been with them for 2 years and had nothing but GREAT things to say about them!!!) I didnt realize that at the time that nanny1 probably just wanted to get the hell out of there and wouldnt ever say anything to mess that up- so everything was PERFECT according to her! So after a few weeks and talking with my parents, I decided that I was gonna go for it... I never imagined I would be regretting this desicion as soon as the plane landed...

Airline tickets were purchased (ONE way- eeek!) and off I went. I was instructed to call J when I landed and by the time I got my luggage she would be there. So I called, AND called, AND called, AND called and all I got was a generic robot voice mail. I tried not to freak out. I got my bags and sat, AND sat, AND sat. After about an hour I decided I had been totally duped! Someone played a horrible joke on me and now I was stuck. I decided to wait a bit more before calling my parents because I knew the tears would come if I did, so I sat for one more hour. That's when the gold land rover screeched to the curb and J jumped out. I think this was the only time I was happy to see her face the whole time I was there. She quickly explained that she misplaced her phone, the boys slept late and she hit traffic.... yada yada yada. So I get in the car and am introduced to the boys. B and P seemed sweet enough, both were acting shy but gave me smiles. My 2nd indication that this was not going to be a normal job (first- being picked up 2 hours late!) was when B announced he had to pee and instead of telling him to wait J pulled over on Santa Monica Blvd and let three year old B out of the car to pee on the sidewalk... I couldn't help but laugh as he peed on his feet while looking back at me and waving... with a "Welcome to HELL nanny Aubree!" shit grin on his face.

The rest my time their was spent regretting every second of moving! These people were not normal in ANY way, shape or form. The general vibe of their family was misery. Their house was just that- A house. Not a home, or a place of comfort. The boys were not allowed in many of the rooms and not one family picture adorned the walls. The house cleaner came twice a week to make sure their 2.5 million dollar box was spotless at all times. I quickly learned that this was not going to be like I imagined. All my families in the NW treated me like a member, not a employee. And the worst part was that I had no escape, knew nobody, didn't have a car and LIVED where I worked!! I learned the bus schedule very quickly and spent a lot of free time shopping and at the beach in Santa Monica. Breanne came to visit for 4 days after my first month there and I felt like I could breath for the first time in 3 weeks... but the day she left I couldn't stop crying! In fact I cried EVERY day I was there... and I am not a huge crier!! Anyways when I finally decided to leave it was a huge relief and my dad and aunt drove down and rescued me... Ive never been SOOOO happy to spent 18 hours stuck in a car in my LIFE! Forgive me now because this blog will be really LONG but these next stories will be worth it I swear...

B LOVED me!!

B, the 3 year old, was one of the worst kids I've ever come across... EVER. (P wont be mentioned much- he was very sweet. Odd I know!) Anyways for 2 months straight every single time I walked into a room B would SCREECH "I don't like Aubree, NEVVVEEERRRR Aubree!!" At first I tried to win him over, but towards the end I would glare at him, stick my tongue out or reply "I don't care, I don't like you either" (of course not when J was in the room though!) My fav part of this little saying of his is this next story...

J was always trying to get me to go to church with them. Not that I don't like church, but Sundays were my day off and I would rather have it off then spend it at church with the "perfect" family. (plus the first time I went with them J, she proceeded to sign me up for the young adult group and then I got bombarded my a bunch of girls wearing khaki pants wanting me to join them at Starbucks for bible study!! I wanted friends to DRINK with, not PRAY with!) Anyways, this given Sunday B started to rip up a bible. J looked down at him in horror and whispered "B don't do that, that's god's word" B then SCREAMED, at the top of his lungs, "I don't like GOD, Nevvvverrrr GOD!!!" The pastor stopped talking and said, "well OK" as J pulled B out of the sanctuary and I sat with my head in my lap laughing my ASS off... at least it wasn't just me B didn't like!!

The life and Times of a "stay-at-home" mom who has a full time Nanny

That's right Folks J was a STAY-AT-HOME mommy!! Her days were spent shopping, working out and visiting her best friend at Promises to get the latest rehab gossip! I'm not kidding.

My work schedule was crazy... I worked 5 days a week (normal), I had Thursdays and Sundays off. BUT Thurs I was required to get up and help her in the morning before school (7-8am) and then I was supposed to cook dinner on Thurs nights... so if I went anywhere I had to be home by 4:30! And on Sundays they liked me to do activities with the family... sometimes I declined, but most of the time they INSISTED! Anyways here are a couple of my "favorite" things about J...

- She liked to point out people's flaws... especially in church! "ewww her purse does NOT match her outfit!" She even told me everything she didn't like about me on our way home from a horrible trip to San Diego. For 2 hours I got to listen to her tell me she thought I was stupid before I came because I had spelling errors in my e-mails....

-She constantly complained about her weight... even though she was a size FOUR!

-She wanted a boob job and botox and told me this about 50 million times... A DAY.

-She wanted a baby girl, so she had it planned out down to when they were going to start trying (6 months from then.) How they were going to do it (full moon, certain positions to insure a girl...) and she even started buying maternity clothes!!! It made me wanna puke... she couldn't handle 2, I couldn't imagine her with 3! I had to get out before that happened!! side-note: I talked to the nanny that took over (shes way outta there too!) but J did get prego and had a... BOY!!! lol new nanny said as soon as J found out, she started talking about trying for a 4th!! wtf?
-She constantly started arguments with her husband (Big B... he is not mentioned, cause he wasn't home much. I did like him though... very normal and mellow guy.) while I was in the room with them. She also was always undermining him when he tried to discipline the boys or have any say in parenting. Her rule was that he was to only play with them and be their friend! It made me want to scream!

-She liked to comment on my weight and point out every time I looked "smaller." Thanks, but no thanks. Keep it to yourself.

-She didn't want me saying "good job" or "perfect" to the boys. Don't ask me why!

-Her idea of "working in her office" was to spend hours shopping online. Every once in a while she would call me in to get my opinion on certain dresses, designer jeans or bathing suits! She would even leave sometimes and set the timer so at certain times I would run in there and bid on items on EBAY for her!!

She was the most interesting person I had ever met and I hope I never meet another person like her! Thanks, but no thanks!

The one person I met there WORSE than J

So about a month into living there, J and Big B told me that they were going to be hosting a big party for Big B's co-workers. This was planned and discussed for weeks. The menu was written out and rules were layed out. I was to be watching the boys, but at the same time letting them interact with guest... I didn't know how this was going to be possible, but I was up for the challenge. J and Big B kept warning me about his boss, telling me he was a jerk and not to listen to anything he said to me. I brushed this off not thinking much of it. As you can tell from the title of this story, they were right. Lets just call this guy DOUCHE. So Big B worked with about 5 guys and they were all bringing dates... EXCEPT douche. He was bringing his DOG.

Who the fuck brings his dog to a dinner party?? Well Douche, that's who. So the night comes and every thing's going fine. It was a nice night so everyone spent the first part of the night having appetizers and chatting outside in the back yard. The boys were running around, sticking their fingers in the hummus and trying to show off. I was doing my best to keep them from being too crazy and getting them plates of their own food, so they weren't offending anyone! Nobody seemed to mind. Nobody but douche and his big giant "date!" He kept mumbling shit like, "who's watching them?!" or "ewww dirty fingers in the dip!!" I just ignored him, per directions.

He then turned to me and said... "My dog cant have ANY table foods!" I almost choked on my own spit! "uhhhhh alrighty" I replied. So now I'm a FUCKING DOG NANNY too huh?? So after watching him glare at the boys for another hour, he excused himself to go inside and I watched as his "date" happily took a half brick of sharp cheddar cheese off the table and proceeded to inhale it in 1 minute tops! Take that DOUCHE!!!!!!

side-note: Douche ended up telling Big B and J he thought I was a horrible nanny because I had NO control over the boys... Whateva douchy douche.

Kids and Alcohol.

So J was pretty crazy about what the boys ate and drank. Organic foods,snacks and juice spiked with water!! I had my own secret stash of snacks in my room... thank god for my mini fridge! But on the other end of things J was not picky about other things... like alcohol. She didn't want the boys to have a bad stigma about it, so if they asked for it, she let them have it. A couple of times B would have a sippy cup half filled with beer for dinner! I just bit my tongue... and made a mental note to write in my journal that night!

Anyways one day J was drinking margaritas and happened to set it down on the floor... within a minute P had gotten a hold of it and chugged half the glass. J just laughed and commented that P must like tequila! Well the next second B got a hold of my DIET COKE that was empty and probably drank one little sip. J FLIPPED the FUCK out!! She grabbed it outta his hands and scolded me for being careless!! Seriously I felt like I was in a twilight zone... she didn't care about her 2 year old drinking a glass of liquor... but soda was FORBIDDEN.

Denver

I will end this blog with the last horrible story of my nanny experience from hell. A trip to Denver had been planned before I let J and Big B know that I was leaving, so I told them I would go with them before I took off. (My dad and aunt were going to be coming to get me the day after we got back! woot woot!) I had never been to Colorado and since it was the end of this family, I thought it wouldn't be so bad. Well needless to say J didn't really like me AT ALL at this point and made it her goal for me to have a FAB time!

First off we were late for our departing plane, so we literally RAN (me carrying all the carry-on luggage AND pushing P in a stroller) through LAX. Only to get to the counter and realize we made it by one second... loaded up and tried to ignore the glares of all the crew and passengers who we held up! Since we were late we also got our seats separated and I got to sit with B YIPPEE!!! That was 2 hours of him kicking the seat in front of him and screaming about how he hated me!

So we get there and J shows me to my room that I am going to be sharing with the boys... J and Big B's room was clear down the hall. Surprise Surprise! Our room had one queen sized bed and not much running room for the boys. J had forgotten to pack the boys' any toys, so our options were the 2 trains P never let go of, and a coloring book and 4 crayons that I had bought at the drug store for them. B got those taken away and THROWN away 2 seconds later after J caught him coloring on the wall- WOOPS! Since we didn't have much to do I thought J might bend the TV rules a little for the boys. (1 hour in the morn, 1 hour at night) But NOOOOO- the one time I tried to sneak it on, was the ONE time she came to check on us that first day. "I don't think this is a good idea!" She snipped at me.

My other big problem with this set up was bedtime. The boys' bedtime was at 7o'clock on the dot. No if's, and's or But's! So for 4 nights straight I would sit in the bathroom reading since that was the only way I could have any light! I called my mom on the second night there crying... she couldn't understand why I was so upset when I knew I was coming home in 4 days... "I'm stuck in a bathroom!!" I sobbed.

The last great story trip was when J tried to get me to steal food from a conjoining hotel. She informed me on the first night that the hotel that was connected to ours had free continental breakfast and in the mornings she wanted me and the boys to walk over there in our jammies to STEAL food! She had even gone over and snooped somehow and gotten a name and room number so if anyone asked we would be prepared! THAT my friends is where I drew the line... there would be no stealing of the free breakfast at a hotel I am NOT staying at! Seriously? SERIOUSLY...

I cant wait to go back to Denver someday and ENJOY it!!

I am so thankful to be back in the NW and to be working for an AMAZING, normal, funny, down to earth family!! And if you know anybody thinking about moving to Southern Cali to nanny, have them read my blog first!!

My Blind Date from the pits of HELL...

We shall start off with my dear friend that set me up with this young lad that lead to this fabulous blind date story...
A couple years back I worked as a lead teacher at a daycare in La Center WA. For some reason I made friends with a lot of the parents. Most of which I'm still friends with. So this is where I met Dottie C. She is in her 40's, gorgeous and a very unique individual. I've babysat for her a few times, but mostly just good friends with her, she even got me a job at an interior design office after I moved back from Cali. I love her dearly but she can be a little scatterbrained and nutty sometimes! For example... The very first time I babysat for her she made sure to show me where the alcohol and her medical marijuana was... "In case you feel like partying when the kids go to sleep" Of course I didn't feel like partying, and couldn't believe she had offered! But Dottie grows on you quickly and you cant help but absolutely LOVE her to pieces! So when she decided to play match maker, I thought sure "why not?" So she proceeded to give my number out to a fellow student of hers at the Art Institute of Portland...

His name was Josh.
I talked to him a few times on the phone. He seemed nice, a little quiet, but nice. He was 22 (I think I was 20 at the time) was going to college and had a job. Seemed normal enough and we made plans for a week later. So the night came and he said he would call after he got off work and we could meet up somewhere for dinner. So I got ready, jeans and a nice top (nothing too fancy, but nice enough.) My phone rings and I figure he will ask me to meet him somewhere like Olive Garden or Red Robbin.... WRONG!!! "Can we meet at Muchas Gracias on fourth plain?" was the first thing he said to me! Side-note: I HATE HATE HATE muchos gracias... more than ANY other eatery in the world. AND the muchos gracias on fourth plain is the most ghetto one you will find ANYWHERE!! I didn't even know what to say!!! "Uhhhh I guess... I just wont eat" I replied. Thinking he might say "oh we can go somewhere else." wrong again. he replied with "OK COOL!!" FFFUUUCCCKKKK!!! That is when I knew this date was going to be priceless!

So I decided not to change and just to go with it, there is no way it could get worse... RIGHT? I make my way over to the ghetto bullet holed Muchos Gracias on fourth plain and as soon as I pull up I see a guy sitting outside. "That CANT be him" I say out loud to myself. Let me give you a visual... He wasn't ugly, but was not cute enough to make up for the dirty grey sweats, the red and green PLAID shirt and house slippers he was wearing. I swear to god I'm not making this up!!! Has this guys ever been on a date before?? I soon found out...

I compose myself, bite my tongue to keep from laughing, and go to introduce myself. To which he mumbles his name, while looking at the ground and pronounces that hes starving and this is his favorite restaurant. We go inside and he orders, without asking if I want anything, and pays for HIS food. I go after him and order a Soda. We fill up our cups, Diet coke for me, GRAVEYARD for him. Seriously is this kid 11?? So here's where it gets even better... we start to TALK... Yippy!

As this sexy, sexy date of mine inhales his plate of greasy Mexican yumminess, he proceeds to start to tell me about himself... with his mouth full and cheese hanging off his chin, of course! Lets see where shall I begin? He lives at home and was home-schooled (surprise, surprise!) He had lots of negative things say public school, to which I responded by telling him that everyone needed a social life and I doubt that he had one. He was literally the most boring person I have EVER met. He told me that he had no desire to move out because he loved him mom too much. (he loved that she made him home-made granola in the mornings... using the little choc chips NOT the big ones and packed his lunches for school everyday!) It was spring break and he also told me that he was excited for school to start back up because the only thing he had done over break was clean his room. (with Mommy's help I'm sure!) He let me know that he had no friends, had never drank and didn't intend to, had never traveled- ANYWHERE and had no desire to, had never been to a concert and spent most of his time playing computer games by himself, in his room.

I'm not done....He also let me know that I was his first date ever, which I could have guessed. Than the next thing out of his mouth was that I wasn't really his type... like he WAS my type or something!? I quickly let him know that he could never keep up with me and that for his next date he might want to think about wearing jeans and maybe, just MAYBE, showering! This is the BEST part... he then told me that he had a area code obsession and forced me to name off cities so he could tell me the area codes, that lasted for 15 horrendous minutes!

I literally had to force myself not to be too mean to him... but I did very bluntly let him know that he desperately needed to get out and experience LIFE! I couldn't believe that I had just spent an hour and a half of my life listening to this mama's boy in dirty sweats talk about nothing! I didn't think people like this kid existed! As we got up to leave he turned to me and said, "I'm trying to decide if I ever want to see you again." I quickly answered "Let me make this easy for you, If you ever travel, go to a concert or do ANYTHING exciting in life, Id like to hear about it. Until then don't try and get a hold of me! BYE!!"

I was laughing SOOOO hard when I left that I had to pull over at Clark College, about 3 blocks away. I then sat in the Clark parking lot for about an hour while I called my sisters, roommate, best friend and mom to tell them EVERY last detail of this blind date before I forgot anything!! And after that I called Dottie and said "We are NOT friends anymore..."

Side-note: I couldn't help but forgive Dot because if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have this amazing story to tell people. But she knows she is forbidden to ever set me up EVER again.

double side-note: a few years later I got a call from Dot letting me know that her nephew was staying with her and that I should come over and meet him, cause he's "really cute!" I replied, "Dottie you KNOW you're not allowed to set me up..." to which she quickly shot back "but he has his penis pierced!!" OMG... bahahahaha! I love having crazy crazy friends!

The begining of the begining...

Lets see...

For those of you that don't know me very well, My name is Aubree, I'm 23 and live in Vancouver, WA. I work full time as a nanny and go to school for nursing. I've pretty much always been single (had a few "boyfriends" but I usually only last about 3 months before I get annoyed and dump the poor guys!) This is mainly because I chose to stay single. Even in high school I recognized that guys just complicate things. My motto was "I don't date guys, just make-out with them." Anyways even though I haven't had many long term relationships, Ive sure as hell had my fair share of crazy dates, random hook-ups and psycho guys. My roommate and I just started going on Internet dates as well, and it would be fun to be able to blog about the random guys we meet from our pof profiles! I also spent 3 months as a nanny in Southern California, which only lasted a couple of months because the mom was CRAZY and the kids were little shit-heads. Even though it was a short stay, Ive got plenty of stories, that would make any normal person think twice before packing their bags and becoming a LIVE-IN nanny in SO CAL! So needless to say I've got stories out my ass and instead of writing a book, I thought Id start with a blog! My sister requested that I start off with my blind date from HELL story, So here you go Alyssa..